Have you ever watched chickens? I mean really watched; believe it or not, they can be fascinating. I was chicken watching one day; there were maybe twenty hens and three roosters. Two roosters were big and brawny, strutting around like they owned the barnyard. The third was, you guessed it, a nine pound weakling.

Big rooster one sidled up to Henny Penny and whispered, “come on doll, let’s get it on.”  “Oh no you don’t,” yelled big rooster two; “that’s my chick.” So, as you might imagine, they get into it hollering and screaming at each other with feathers flying every which way.  

Meanwhile, the nine pound weakling rooster, let’s call him Charlie, struts up to Henny Penny and whispers a sweet nothing into her ear. “Oh I love it when you talk dirty,” she cackles and they go at it. When it is all over, she fluffs up her feathers and walks away and he struts off looking for a new conquest all the while keeping a sharp eye on the feuding behemoths.

Charlie struts up to the big red hen and bumps her in the shoulder. “Hey babe, let’s hook up before those two wise up.” The big red hen turns and faces him with her hackles up. “Beat it buster before I clean your clock. I’ve already been had once today and you sure as the devil are not going to make it twice. Go pester Henrietta.”

Charlie was devastated; his heart was set on the red hen. She was supposed to be the hottest hen in the chicken coop. It was the red feathers you know. “Henrietta? Who is Henrietta? Oh yeah, that’s her over by the gate. She has her eye on me, she must want me desperately.” He started after her full speed ahead.

Henrietta took one look at Charlie galloping her way and started running as fast as she could go, squawking at the top of her lungs, out the gate and down beside the barn. Charlie was in full pursuit and gaining on her.

Meanwhile the Big Roosters were getting tired of beating up on each other and took time to see what was going on. Charlie, chasing Henrietta, they could not tolerate that and took off in full pursuit.

As soon as Henrietta got out of sight of the chicken coop she stopped and waited for Charlie. Their time together was short, but long enough. Charlie and Henrietta were just saying goodbye when the two twelve pound roosters slammed in to him knocking him end over end. That’s my chick yelled Big Rooster One. No it is not yelled Big Rooster Two and in a rage flew at Big Rooster One and the two of them went at it again.

Charlie and Henrietta just looked at them, shook their heads and walked back toward the chicken coop.

Now I know you think I just made up this story, but it is the absolute truth.

Bill